5 Questions to Ask Yourself if You Believe Your Spouse is Cheating on You

5 Questions to Ask Yourself if You Believe Your Spouse is Cheating on You

We are big proponents of a successful marriage. Unfortunately, we are also very aware that life doesn’t always play out like a fairytale. There aren’t as many happily ever after endings in real life as we wish there were. For marriages to be long-lasting and successful, they require tremendous effort and selflessness from both spouses. Whenever effort wanes and self-sacrifice comes to a halt, marriages can begin to feel unsatisfying. There are endless possibilities of why your partner is unsatisfied with themselves or their marriage, and these reasons may drive them to go elsewhere to look for happiness and satisfaction. While we hope this doesn’t happen to you, we certainly don’t want you to be blindsided by a bad breakup when you are putting in maximum effort and deserve similar effort in return. We compiled a list of 5 questions that may be indicative of infidelity in from your partner.


  1. Do they have a sudden need for privacy?

Below are actions that a cheating spouse may go through to hide their secret life. If your spouse goes to great endeavors to ensure that you do not have access to his or her personal privacy, then that should raise a concern. Here are a few odd privacy tendencies typical of a cheating spouse:

  • They delete emails and messages frequently from their computer or smartphone.
  • They changed their passwords on their devices and neglected to tell you.
  • You noticed that they created a separate phone bill.
  • They leave the room when they are answering the phone at a particular time.
  1. Does their current behavior resemble their usual character?

Marriage creates a bond between two people, and when one of the partners is acting differently, the other can easily pick up on these differences. Here is a small checklist of behavior modifications that could mean your partner is cheating on you:

  • They don’t sleep in the same bed as you anymore.
  • Their demeanor towards you different in the way they talk and act around you.
  • Their clothing style changed recently.
  • They are working out more lately, or have lost a lot of weight.
  • They don’t wear their wedding ring and have excuses as to why they don’t wear it.
  • They come home later than expected after meetings or activities.
  1. Do they seem uncomfortable around you?

Pay attention to how your partner is interacting with you on a daily basis. If you sense that they feel uncomfortable around you, it shows that they are distant emotionally and physically. A few questions that should be used as detectors to notice if they are uncomfortable around you are:

  • Their body language comes off as cold and unwanted when they are around you.
  • They are always tired around you or seem distracted.
  • They lost interest in the relationship or activities that you use to do together.
  • They seem to have check out of the relationship and are simply going through the motions.
  1. Have you noticed any changes in their routine?

If you believe that your spouse is changing up their routine, and you don’t see them as often as before, it should raise a red flag in your mind. Key changes to notice in your spouse’s routine include:

  • Staying late at the office to work.
  • Recently joined a gym
  • They take longer than necessary to complete a task, such as going to the grocery store or running other types of errands.
  • Shopping for new clothes or sudden concern for their style.
  1. Do you have a gut feeling that something is off in your marriage?

No one understands your spouse like you do. When your intuition tells you that something isn’t normal, it’s a great chance that it’s right. If you aren’t able to understand the reasons behind your spouse’s actions, you may want to hire a personal investigator to look deeper into the situation.

Our expert advice:

The main reason not to try to catch your spouse on your own is that you will get caught.  Once you have alerted your spouse of your suspicions and they know you are checking up on them, they become careful and more difficult to catch for a professional.  Since you have no training, you will typically get spotted if you attempt surveillance on your spouse. The best position for you to be in is for your spouse to think that they are getting by with their behavior and that you have no suspicions at all.  Our philosophy is, “Give them enough rope to hang themselves.”  Most people have a tendency to confront their spouse when they become suspicious of behavior.  They are looking for and wanting a confession.  It is human nature not to confess.  In our experience, less than one percent of people confess once they are confronted with suspicious activity.  The problem with confronting them about what little you know is that you are then telling them what you don’t know.

In addition, this is an extremely emotional time and we are here to talk you through the evidence and help you be smart instead of acting on your emotions.  If your spouse is involved in another relationship, then they no longer have you or your family’s interest as their primary focus.  Their own feelings and selfishness have become their top priority.  You have to be prepared and ready to protect yourself and your family when this happens.